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How To Last Longer In Bed: 7 Ways To Make Sex Long Lasting

Here are 7 ways to make sex long lasting and tips to help delay premature ejaculation time. Read the best advice and sexual tricks for men during lovemaking with your women.

Last updated Fact Checked: Feb 1, 2022

We have taken them from various expert guides from a prominent sex therapist which are not free. These are not your typical rehashed squeeze method or squeeze technique either. However, we will present what we can without charging you a dime. More details can be found in the Ejaculation By Command program by Lloyd Lester and also the Ejaculation Guru by Jack Grave.

Are you always finding yourself not being able to last more than five minutes in bed?

Want to last longer in bed than that?

There’s no doubt that these techniques will be able to help your sex life!

This Is How You Can Have Longer Sex

We will explain to you some breathing techniques and ways that you can help yourself calm down if you feel you are about to climax too quickly. Also, we will show you some of the best sexual positions that you can start using right away and begin to last longer and prolong sex starting as quickly as tonight.

We will then show you how to eradicate those negative thoughts that lead to performance anxiety making you ejaculate too quickly. And we will cover three advanced exercises to train your ejaculatory muscles, making them stronger for withholding the urge to bust a nut.

To conclude, we will go more into detail about how to be in the moment while having sex. This is important because even though most people don’t know it, this is the key to lasting longer in bed.

Let’s begin…

1. The Instant Cooldown Technique

The first thing that you should do is get accustomed to instantly cooling yourself down when you realize you’re about to reach the point of no return. You can do this by performing some of the actions detailed below.

This is a good place to start because it can give you that much-needed confidence boost. Typically, guys start to panic as they feel themselves getting away from being in control and this leads to performance anxiety.

This is not something that you do consciously; it’s just something that accompanies those feelings. You just can’t help it!

It happens and then it’s too late.

Because it is an unconscious decision, it’s a lot more complicated than just trying to trick your brain by telling yourself not to panic! Before you know it you’re already panicking, and it’s hard to get out of that mindset. By learning some of the cooling down techniques, you can ensure that you don’t get into that state of mind from the offset.

The good thing is that these techniques can be quickly learned, but don’t overdo or abuse them because they are just temporary measures until you have mastered more advanced techniques. They are just a starting point, and once you have trained yourself to reach the pinnacle of ejaculatory control, you won’t need to use these techniques at all.

As for now, though, it’s incumbent upon you to use these basic cooldown techniques any time you get into bed with a female, so you don’t end up blowing your load too early.

We will Cover just two of them here now, but for more of them, you should get the full training program called Ejaculation By Command.

I. The TBP Method

Lloyd Lester, the author of the Ejaculation By Command program, developed this technique after accumulating feedback from his clients. It stands for the tongue – back – push!

The ideal time to use it is when you can feel yourself getting closer to the edge, to the point where you are building strong sensations and will soon cum.

This Is How To Do It:

Begin to touch the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth in circles. Keep your mouth closed while you do it, so she will have no idea what you’re doing. Try it now, seems weird, right? Try not to do it too hard or too soft, watch you want to feel is quite an intense tickling sensation.

Keep your mouth closed while you do it, so she will have no idea what you’re doing. Try it now, seems weird, right? Try not to do it too hard or too soft, watch you want to feel is quite an intense tickling sensation.

Try it now, seems weird, right? Try not to do it too hard or too soft, watch you want to feel is quite an intense tickling sensation.

Try not to do it too hard or too soft, what you want to feel is quite an intense tickling sensation.

While you are running your tongue in this way, begin to move your hands up and down your partner’s back, doing so in long strokes. Work your hands from her shoulders and her lower back.

If you are in an awkward position which makes it hard for you to reach her back, then make the same motions but along her legs instead. If you do it in between her thighs, it will increase her sensation at the same time. So, it’s a win-win.

Get into the mood and start to think about how her skin feels. Make this part of your initial thoughts, for the time being; this is crucial.

The last part of the process is to relax your PC muscle. The way to do this is to imagine you are constipated, and you are trying to force the shit out. Hold it for five seconds and then release it for five seconds. Keep repeating this process.

The reason this works is that you are widening your thoughts and sensations between so many parts of your body. And remember, you do not have to so rigidly follow these instructions, you can adapt to that which makes you feel comfortable.

Why Does It Work?

During sex, the sensations you feel are pinpointed within your penis on most guys. This forces you to overly concentrate on those particular feelings. By following this technique, the sensations you feel will be sparsely distributed across your whole body, creating a somewhat dilutive effect and it brings you out of over-concentrating on penis sensations solely.

The relaxation and contraction of the PC muscle in five-second increments will remove the concentrated amounts of tension within the pelvic region.

All of this combined will distract you from the overwhelming feelings experienced at the point of no return, but you will remain in the zone.


Forget about what you may have already read online about thinking disgusting thoughts or counting sheep or any of that other malarkey for that matter. This is not a good idea even though it is repeated over and over online.

The good thing about the PBT technique is that it won’t look as though you are doing anything strange from your partner’s perspective. She will just feel you stroking her back or inner thighs which she will enjoy anyway!

II. The Snooze Button Technique

This method should be reserved for the most critical of times as your last line of defense. You will be required to stop yourself from ejaculating physically. Firstly; we need to understand the difference between orgasm and ejaculation.

Contrary to popular belief, they are both separate entities – in most cases, and for most men, ejaculation and orgasm occur simultaneously, but that needn’t be the case.

The snooze button technique will allow you to orgasm without ejaculating! How cool is that?

For you to accomplish this, you will need to press firmly midway between your scrotum and your anus. When you are about to climax you should apply pressure very firmly and hold it pressed with your fingers throughout the whole duration of your orgasm. You will feel it contracting very intensely but keep it pressed until all the contractions have finished.

If you caress the correct point, you will orgasm without ejaculating. It is ideal to try this on your own a few times before putting it into practice with your partner being present. Don’t overuse this technique; it is just something to get you started with until you have mastered more advanced techniques.

A further eight instant cooldown procedures are explained in the Ejaculation By Command program – they are more powerful but need to be done correctly. If you get the full program, you won’t need to use these prolonged ejaculation hacks for very long due to the learning of even more powerful methods.


2. Creating The Right Frame Of Mind

A lot of the bogus advice that you may have already come across will tell you that if you have problems lasting longer in bed, it’s just a flawed thought process in your mind.

It’s safe to say I am not that guy to tell you that!

After doing extenuating research with patients and referring to scientific studies, it increasingly shows that premature ejaculation is more of a physical problem rather than a mental one. That is why the techniques taught here are so compelling.

But, we can’t completely denounce the idea that mental health should be ruled out altogether. They do have some impact, and it’s important to make sure that you regulate your thoughts before, during, and after sex so that you don’t sabotage your efforts subconsciously.

The Ejaculation By Command program includes a checklist of things you can do (very easy things) to turn negative thoughts into positive ones – there is a whole section about it, but for now, we will cover some basics to get you started.

Take It Easy

Sometimes the issue of premature ejaculation can feel as though it’s the end of the world. That’s because you have made the sexual dysfunction bigger than what it is and have convinced yourself of its magnitude. You need to learn to put things back into perspective.

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself

Communication Is The Key

It can feel daunting, even the idea of having to talk to your partner. Due to their egos, men are very reluctant in doing so. But, a problem shared is a problem halved and so whether you talk about it or not it will be something that she picks up on anyway.

Women are understanding creatures and will love the fact that you shared this problem with her. She will also like to help you improve. Women tend to look elsewhere if they feel that their partner doesn’t care for making an effort to improve.

Tell her that you have started learning techniques to improve and maybe she can press the snooze button for you.

Focus On Her Rather Than Yourself

Stop putting too much emphasis on your sexual performance. Guys who suffer from premature ejaculation do this subconsciously.

Change the focus during sex by using your hands and caressing your partner’s body. Think about how it feels, how soft it is and how smooth. Run your fingers through her hair, touch her gently and apply more pressure. Don’t just consider touching her private areas either. Women love to be touched, so she won’t have any problems with you doing it.

The game aims to change that niggling voice in your head from thinking about YOUR performance to thinking about how HER body feels.

There are many different ways of changing the focus in the Ejaculation By Command program but for now, let’s stick to the most efficient way…

Mind Over Matter… I Mean… Matter Over Mind

The mindset will only get you so far but, without conquering the physical skills, you can never get far enough.

Being assured helps, but if the most confident guy in the world was to step in the ring with a professional boxer what do you think would happen? He may have all the confidence but, without learning the physical techniques and the required skills, you will get knocked out within seconds.

That analogy applies to lasting longer in bed too – so learn what you need to do, and your confidence will increase naturally!

3. Learn To Breathe Right

By not perfecting the correct breathing techniques and without using them during sex, you will, by and large struggle and nearly all guys with this problem generally get the breathing wrong.

Luckily, the problem of breathing is easily fixable, and you can learn how to do it correctly right away.

Your breathing pattern influences and relaxes your muscles, once they are relaxed the tension is removed. Most advice would advise you to start breathing deeply when you notice you are about to reach the point of no return – by then it’s too late!

The trick is to start breathing deeply even before you have begun to have sex.

You should aspire to make it as natural and habitual as possible.

This Is How You Should Be Breathing:

Here’s a quick workout for you so that you can make this breathing exercise as natural as possible. Sit comfortably or maybe even lay down on your sofa and do five sets. The more you practice, the more automatic it will become.

Breathing forms the foundation of how to control a delayed orgasm. This is because it is the involuntary muscle tension that causes it. So, breathing in this way helps to control unnecessary stress while you are aroused.

In the full Ejaculation By Command program, there are a further three breathing techniques that you can use. There is also one that is incredibly powerful which will help your body ease up and cool down ridiculously quickly. There are also meditation and visualization techniques that will surprise you with how effectively you can reduce over-sensitivity and enjoy your sexual encounter.

4. Tailoring Your Response To Sexual Arousal

Although it may seem that your body is working against you right now, believe it or not, your body is on your side. Every time you have sex your body sends you the signals and messages, but most guys tend to interpret them wrong. By paying attention to what they are telling you (remember it’s your body’s way of informing you!), You will be able to use this information to your benefit rather than it working against you.

5. Training And Conditioning To Delay Ejaculations

So far, we have mainly talked about everything other than the physical aspect. The previously mentioned techniques will help you but, to take it to the next level you will require some physical conditioning.

Now let’s talk about a group of muscles that is responsible for ejaculating. They are referred to as the PC muscles. When these muscles are relaxed, it means that you will not be able to ejaculate. To try not to get these muscles tense is what we need to achieve. Even though they are probably the hardest muscles to tame, it is possible with the right training.

Here’s how you can control the PC muscles:

Edging (Last Longer)

Edging has been a technique that has been around for a while, and most books and professionals recommend it. We have a detailed article all about edging.

To give you a summary, edging involves building up sexual tension to the point where you are about to ejaculate and then stop. Once the sensation has died down, you will start again to reach the same point and stop. You will continue to do this repeatedly.

There are also more advanced edging and stopping and starting techniques available which enable you to intensify your resistance levels without having to stop and start constantly.

These can be found in the Ejaculation By Command program, but for now, you can learn to increase your workouts with edging using a fleshlight stamina training unit which will give you the feel of a real vagina, making it streamlined with the real thing.


Kegel Exercises (Delay Ejaculation)

Kegels are exercises that involve contracting your PC muscles to make them stronger. By continuously contracting them, it will make them stronger. However, they will not help you regarding controlling or prolonging orgasm; rather they may make the problem worse.

Kegels will strengthen the PC muscles no doubt, as for improving your ability to manage them, not so much! The capacity to last longer in bed is about control, not strength!

The contraction of the PC muscles is what resorts to ejaculation, so we do not want to strengthen this physical trigger without maintaining its control as this will work against you.


Skip The Regular Kegels And Focus On Stamina Stamina Kegels

Rather than just strengthening the PC muscles, stamina Kegels enable you to gain more control over them by strengthening the pelvic floor muscle. This is done by isolating the particular muscle in question and doing pelvic floor exercises without flexing any of the surrounding muscles.

The downside is that it is more tiring mentally than it is physically, but the upside is that it doesn’t take long to master. After about a week of doing five minutes a day, you will have built up sufficient muscle memory. You will be able to relax the PC muscle on demand.


Please remain cautious about following any advice you find on the Internet on sites such as Reddit and Yahoo answers or the likes. Most of this information is incorrect and is given by unqualified individuals. In most cases, it will do more harm than good and make the problem worse, especially the information with regards to edging and Kegels.

6. The Right Sexual Position To Prolong Sexual Activity

Some sexual positions will cause more stimulation than others and will cause you to ejaculate prematurely as a result. You have probably noticed the difference even with or without a condom.

It is not just a case of which sex position causes overstimulation; rather it is dependent on which one requires both voluntary and involuntary muscular tension.

The excessive amounts of muscular tension need to be readjusted to become less overpowering using certain techniques which will allow you to carry on going without stopping or cooling down. This will be perfect for her, as she will experience penetrative sex from you never like before.

It is not ideal to stop and start during sexual intercourse as she will most definitely hate it and it will lead to the wrong frame of mind that we are trying to get out of in the first place.

For the benefit of not overcomplicating this article, we have chosen to refrain from detailing the specific sex positions which are best for preventing orgasm. Also, they have an explicit nature that would not be suitable to be displayed on a public website.

More details about this topic can be found in the Ejaculation By Command program and also the Ejaculation Guru Guide by Jack grave.

7. Get Into Rhythm To Last Longer During Sex

Getting into the right flow during your sex session can seem counterintuitive. Most guys would think that it is the constant rhythm of vaginal penetration that forces them to cum prematurely to start with.

If you go through either of the ejaculation programs we have mentioned throughout this article; you will learn how this can work in your favor.

The game aims to get you at the moment when you’re in that zone; you will stop worrying. You will stop thinking about the time and become fully relaxed. All those negative thoughts that would have usually entered your brain are forgotten about, and you are free to focus on what matters (her).

Isn’t that what good sex is supposed to be about?

There’s a lot of science behind this proving why it is so efficient and most importantly that it works and by following the step-by-step instructions outlined in the guide you can get in the zone every time very easily.

If you follow the program, the other techniques mentioned before quickly get you up to the 20 to 30-minute mark without a problem. But this, this is where it goes from 30 minutes and beyond.

Beyond where?

Beyond any time constraints, as long as your body is physically able, you can go for as long as you like and decide to cum when you please.

To Summarize…

Most of the stuff we have talked about has probably gone straight over your head, let’s recap so you can easily remember what to do whether you suffer from primary premature ejaculation or just want to last a little bit longer in bed.


You Can Learn The Advanced Techniques Right Now!

It takes on average about 15 minutes of pure penetration for a woman to climax. That is the minimum you should be aiming for.

Anything below that and you will leave her feeling unsatisfied, if this is how you leave her feeling regularly, I can assure you it’s a problem. And I don’t mean just for you either! Try to engage in plenty of foreplay and clitoral stimulation with oral sex.

If you can last about five minutes, then try the techniques we have mentioned and see how well you get on before embarking on the Ejaculation By Command program or Ejaculation Guru.

If you can’t even reach the five-minute mark, I suggest you keep reading…


What’s Included In The Ejaculation By Command Program?

What’s Included In The Ejaculation Guru Program?

We hope you have enjoyed this article and have acquired some golden nuggets and a better understanding of how premature ejaculation occurs and how it may be fixed.

We hope your faith has been restored knowing that with the right program and techniques you can last longer in bed longer than you have ever thought imaginable.  It’s not easy having to cope with premature ejaculation. You may feel ashamed right now but just reading this shows that you’re willing to do what it takes to resolve this problem. It shows that you are not a quitter.

It’s not easy having to cope with premature ejaculation!

You may feel ashamed right now but just reading this shows that you’re willing to do what it takes to resolve this problem.

It shows that you’re, not a quitter.

As for me, I know that you’re the perfect candidate for these techniques to work for. Whether you choose to go with the Ejaculation By Command program or opt for the Ejaculation Guru, you will soon be lasting a lot longer in bed and gain total control over your ejaculations.


Natural Methods Versus Quick Fixes

Other things can also help you with premature ejaculation such as using topical creams, sprays or gels, etc. But, they will only give you a temporary effect, and you must continue to use them to resume to see the results. However, the root of the problem will always be there underlying and only be masked for a short time.

Also, not all products are created equally, and some are not as good as others. You should read about our recommended sprays and creams if that is something that you would like to experiment with initially.

The natural techniques that are taught in both mentioned guides will give you long-lasting (excuse the pun) permanent results that you will be able to carry with you for a lifetime.

When you learn some of the more basic techniques, like the ones we have given to you for free in this article, it makes it easier to learn the more advanced ones, and it builds upon them later.

To explain this, let’s take for example when you learn the cooldown methods, knowing these will make it easier for you to get in the right mindset because the physical pressure has been decreased.

As you go through the sections, the cumulative results that you will achieve by using several techniques all at the same time will enable you to reach the tipping point…


Grasp The Tipping Point To Stop You From Tipping Over

This is the point where everything that you have learned and put into practice comes together, and you gain full control. Everything will be working in harmony; your breathing will be correct making you relaxed, and you will be able to read your body and the messages it is sending you.

Naturally, this includes having some emergency tactics in your back pocket at all times, just in case you find it difficult taming that wild pussy.

You will start to focus on what’s important since all that unnecessary tension has been removed from your body making you more confident and equipped.

It is at this point you have reached total Ejaculation By Command or become an Ejaculation Guru.

Shahrokh Shariat, MD

Prof. Shariat has published over 1400 scientific papers in peer-reviewed journals. In 2014 he received the Matula Award from the European Society of Urology (EAU), in 2017 the Gold Cystoscope Award from the American Society of Urology, probably the most important urologist award worldwide.

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